By Augustine Abdul Jabbar
All Rights Reserved Copyright © The Good Way 2003
After my father’s death, my search for truth in the Qur’an took a turn. His death was a signpost for me. As my study of the Qur’an intensified, my feeling of emptiness also grew. My study showed me that nowhere did the Qur’an mention the grace of God.
Allah is given 99 different names in the Qur’an. But there is not even one name that means God of grace or at least God of love. Allah in the Qur’an is an unapproachable, distant God, quick to punish the unrighteous. This is clear proof that the Qur’an has one great truth missing in it, for which every yearning soul longs. The grace of God for sinners like my father and me is not to be found in my religion!
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Thus my search for the grace of God in Islam was in vain. That led me to another disillusionment. I diverted my studies to other religions in order to find that essential aspect of God that is missing in Islam.
I avidly read the Bhagavat Gita, the sacred writings of Hinduism, and the books written by Ramkrishna Paramahamsa, the modern sage. I also read the book, The Life of Buddha, written by Dr. Kusmbi. I did not even leave out the books that dealt with secular humanism. I read the works of great philosophers like Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Maxim Gorky, Dr. Ann Besant, Bertrand Russel, and others. All those noted authors’ works were good for head knowledge, but they failed to fill the emptiness I felt in my spirit.
I Am Born Again
Thus my long search leads me to Jesus Christ of the Holy Bible. I knelt down and prayed to God the Father and thanked Him for showing me the path to salvation. That same day I confessed all my sins and accepted Jesus Christ, the Son of God, as my personal savior. A great burden was loosened from my heart.
This incident was a turning point in my life. After this incident, I could not afford to keep quiet. I wanted to proclaim my newfound faith to the world. My Lord wanted me to tell others about the salvation He offered me through Jesus Christ. First, I told my acceptance of Jesus as my personal savior to my brothers, with the intention of sharing the joy I felt in my heart. But the response from them was gruesome.
They warned me that if I did not give up my newfound fantasy the consequences would be dire. Meanwhile, the news spread like wildfire in my family and among the Muslims in the town that Abdul Jabbar had become a Christian. Within a few days my family members, particularly my brothers, became intolerant. They tortured me mentally and physically and threw me out of my house. They not only took unsympathetic and drastic action but also took away all my rights to inherit a share of my family property.
Soon my wife’s family came to know about my conversion and they also responded with contempt. They decided that I could never be allowed to enter their homes.
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