by Hamran Ambrie

All Rights Reserved Copyright © The Good Way 2003

God Speaks to Me Personally

During my former days, I was an active Muslim, an organizer of the Muhammadiyah movement, and a preacher of Islam. In 1947, I was chosen to be the Chairman of the Kalimantan Muslim Congress in Amuntai, together with K.H. Idham Chalid. In 1950-51 I became a Muslim priest in the army in Banjarmasin, with the rank of Second Lieutenant. My articles were published in Islamic magazines such as Mingguan Adil in Solo; Mingguan Risalah Jihad in Jakarta and Mingguan Anti Komunis in Bandung. I cooperated with aggressive anti-Christians from 1936 in Muara Teweh (Barito) and until 1962 sympathized with groups who intended to establish Islamic rule over Indonesia, which would have automatically stood against Christians.

Actually, I had owned a Bible since 1936. However, I did not read it to find its truth, but to search for paragraphs that could support my standpoint as a Muslim with an anti-Christian attitude, and thus be able to attack the Christian faith more effectively.

I was a slanderer of Jesus Christ until the age of 40, completely rejecting his divinity. I purposely ridiculed and rejected the truth. But the love of God was so great, that he sought, found, and saved me.

In 1962, while writing a copy of my sermon for the mosque I meditated over a verse of the Sura Al-Ma’ida 5:68, which says:

Say, O people of the Book! You will be nothing unless you uphold the Torah and the Gospel, and all that is revealed to you from your Lord.

I had read this verse a hundred times, but at last, God whispered to my soul that the Torah and the Gospel which are mentioned in the Qur’an are the same Torah and Gospel found in the Bible now. I had always thought that the Torah and Gospel mentioned in the Qur’an no longer existed physically and that their contents had been summarized in the Qur’an. I was convinced that the Torah and the Gospel, which form the Bible now were false, and that the original contents had been misarranged, forged, or added to by people.

However, my soul told me that the Torah/Gospel now presented in the Bible is true. My mind constantly opposed this inner voice: No! The Torah and the Gospel in the Bible have been falsified. My thoughts contradicted my soul and conscience, and I became uncertain and doubtful as to what was right.

To make peace with my conscience, I took the problem to midnight worship (tahjud-prayer), which is a prayer to God requesting definite signs of the truth. I wanted God to help me recognize which of the two beliefs was right. This was my prayer:

Oh God, Creator of heaven and earth, God of the Muslims, Christians, and Buddhists; God of the moon and the stars, valleys, and mountains; God of the universe; please show me the truth about what is mentioned in the Qur’an concerning the Torah and the Gospel. Does it mean that the original Torah and Gospel which no longer exist have been summarized in the Qur’an? If that is true, I beg you God to strengthen my heart so that I may never study the Bible. But if the ‘truth in the Torah and the Gospel’ mentioned in the Qur’an, means the truth found in the Bible now, I beg You to open my heart so that I will be more eager to study the Bible honestly.

I did not ask anyone to help me make my decision. I did not ask a preacher, a pious Muslim, nor my wise and intelligent friends. I asked the omniscient God directly to choose for me so that I would make the right decision according to his divine will. I prayed fervently and earnestly hoping for God’s guidance that he would choose the truth for me and help me know and confess the right religion.

Every religious person hopes that there is real life after death. And being one of these people, I put my hope in God. I believed that after death, there would be only two places we could go to hell, with its endless punishment of eternal fire; or heaven, to be with God in everlasting glory. I could not think about my eternal future lightly.

For example, let us suppose we have bought 10 grams of pure gold. We would have to examine it carefully, to make sure that nobody had cheated us so that we would have no regret in the future. How much more have we to think very carefully about the future of our soul? We must study and test the truth of our worship in accordance with the will of God, the owner of that heavenly life. Otherwise, we will forever regret our carelessness. I was always sure that the maker of heaven and hell is God himself. For this reason, I did not ask the advice of a man — neither Christian nor Muslim preachers. They are human beings, and cannot know the exact truth that is in accordance with the will of God.

I approached God, the possessor of all truth, directly, begging him with hope and trusting that he would give me true guidance.

Source:

The Good Way 2003